I sit in turmoil over how to start this new post. Do I comment
on the blue-tinted, white pillows on the horizon, the quiet rush of the
dishwasher, the hum of the air conditioning…? My eyes wander through the home
that I am visiting. Their children are asleep. A few last drops of sun make
their way into the room and then dance with the moonlight till dark wins over.
There is such peace here, and peace is such the cure for weeks without writing
or solitude or quiet. Finding joy in a life that is always just on the edge of stress
has its cons. At least it makes these moments of solitude more noteworthy.
As I rest here I remember that in 10 days* from now I will be
on a plane to Atlanta,GA, followed by a plane to Amsterdam,
then to Nairobi followed yet another flight over to Mombassa, Kenya where I will
be living for 7 weeks. It seems unreal. The closer I get to leaving the more
flaws I seem to find in myself, in my walk with Christ, in my attitude.
Spiritual warfare, nerves, whatever you decide to call it, would you dare to
say that perhaps that is exactly how it should be? I do. It’s a reminder that
this venture that I set out on is a victory not won by me, but by God. An
adventure planned and protected, set apart and blessed by God. He has gone before
me. Whom shall I fear?
It wasn’t till my orthodontist and his assistant stopped and
prayed for me in the middle of my appointment that I really began to feel peace
and protection about this trip. How crazy is that?! Glory to God. He had that
planned so well. So well that it all took place because I accidentally showed
up to my appointment two days early. If I had been on time, those prayers may
never have been laid over me. Anyway, What I am most trying to say is that God
clearly uses people with issues to carry out His will. There is not one perfect
man in the Bible other than Jesus. So often I have felt that I needed to be
like Jesus when rather I needed to be more like his followers: Embracing of my
mistakes and trials and struggles so that I can better embrace the grace and
truth of God. I am not perfect,
never will be. But because of the
Spirit within me that is filled with all strength and love and truth of God, I
choose to join God in what I see
Him doing in my life: a path paved to Kenya. Am I still scared? Yes, but I am
going anyway; out on a limb knowing that God has me. This is courage.
Ephesians 3: 19 “ and to know the love of Christ that
surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”
If you seek fulfillment, find it here in the “fullness of
God”! None else will do. Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
*When I wrote this, I had 10 days to go. Now I only have 2.
*When I wrote this, I had 10 days to go. Now I only have 2.
